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Artist: Adam Sandler
Title: The Buffoon and The Dean of Admissions
Submit by: Annie
Date: 24/06/2003
Hits: 39
Performed by Adam Sandler and Conan O' Brien :
";And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.";
Dean: ";Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.";
Buffoon: ";I got a snake, man!";
Dean: ";Yes, pets are welcome here on campus. Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.";
Buffoon: ";One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!";
Dean: ";I'm sure it was. Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus.";
Buffoon: ";Fuckin' Shit!";
Dean: ";Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. So tell me a little bit more about your background.";
Buffoon: ";My father's a fucking asshole, man!";
Dean: ";Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.";
Buffoon: ";My mother's a piece of shit too!";
Dean: ";Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn.";
Buffoon: ";My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! She had her head way up her ass!";
Dean: ";Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.";
Buffoon: ";Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!";
Dean: ";Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success.";
Buffoon: ";I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!";
Dean: ";Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience. So have you given any thought to your choice of major?";
Buffoon: ";I've got a big fucking boner right now.";
Dean: ";I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension. I do not take offense.";
Buffoon: ";One time I ate my neighbors shit!";
Dean: ";That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you. We'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.";
Buffoon: ";I bet you got really hairy balls.";
Dean: ";Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye.";
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